Packrats Anonymous

DG went through the two HUGE moving boxes that he's stacked by the door to our bedroom for the last two years at last.

He found the grenade again. Go figure.

Oh, right, sorry, DG. A cluster bomb. My bad. At least it didn't roll out of a jacket pocket onto my foot in the closet like it did last time.

And your average issue chemical agent testing kit.

And about 3000 yards of sticky tape.

And a full set of restraints, including leg irons .... I'm considering offering them on EBay if Sorcha doesn't threaten me with death for getting rid of them.

Semi-full surgical tool/dissection kit, including the massive swab hemostats and scapels, and I'm sure there's suture kits around somewhere.

Ammo box or two. MREs that are God-only knows how old. Super Boy Scout Compass thing.

Things that I don't even want to try to identify.

"Honey, do we need .... "

"Honey, can you think of any reason to keep ....."

"Do we have any room for ...."

Dude. Packrat's Anonymous. Try it. Really.

Jabberjaws

Thing 2 is in a Mood. I blame my Momster entirely.

I let them outside to play when the sprinklers came on, despite the heat warning and the code red air quality alert. Sprinklers, man. Gotta do it.

They didn't want to come in of course.

Thing 2 is now "dressed" (with her still-wet swimsuit under the dress), insisting on riding the hot pink Barbie scooter around the living room. 'No' is some foreign language right now.

Red ropers. Denim dress. Dripping swimsuit. The Wet Look hair. Crocheted jewelry.

And she hasn't stopped jabbering since she woke up.

"Mama, when we woke in the hotel, they had my favorite cereal. CORNFLAKES. For real! Really! And milk, and cereal, and we got a bowl, and we came home and you painted our room so we can go outside and play sprinklers after eating cereal."

I think she's hungry.

Now she has cereal. And she's still talking. Spraying a fountain of Froot Loops everywhere. Duct tape wouldn't even stop it.

Last night she went and went and went till she literally passed out in the middle of the floor.

Today ... God help me.

---

Thing 1: "Wow, those trees are really dark. I bet there are wolves out there that would get me."

Me: "Nah, no wolves, but I'm sure there's a man-eating tree or two."

Thing 1: ::yowls, whines, whimpers -- giggling::

Thing 2: "Ooo, yeah. I wicked. I'll cast a spell and make the trees go eat Kailey. See, here's me casting a spell so they'll GET HER! Eat Kailey, trees!"

Thing 1: ::more yowling, no longer giggling::

Thing 2: "Oh chill OUT. I just teasing you!"

---

"Mamamamamamama, watch Dracuwa!!!"

"WHAT?"

"Mama, I wanna watch Dracuwa 2000."

I cave.

She's rooting for the vampires. She squealed and sniggered when the first robber dies.

"Mama, is Dracuwa gonna show up?"

"Yeah, eventually, hon."

"Good, cause he's COOL!"

She has a stuffed black cat she's named Salem.

She's wearing this burgundy and black choker. With her 'spell book.' And watching Dracuwa 2000. And singing.

Wednesday Addams ain't got nuthin on this kid.