Thing 1 leaves for school. Mommy is asleep. Thing 2 is asleep. DG left 15 minutes before she did, will be back after he finishes walking heathens across the street.
Thing 1 does not close the door entirely.
The wind is blowing, it is very cold.
When DG returns an hour later, the door is wide open.
Zamboni is missing.
The other two cats, being far more intelligent, realized that it was way too cold and wet to even consider a trip outside. They are in bed with me, where it's warm.
Through sheer luck, nothing other than the cat is missing.
DG leaves to search for stupid.
Almost an hour later, he's found ... peeking out from the porch next door, dry and cold, but safe. And sheepish. And whining.
Thing 1 will get a talking-to.
Zam is home.
But don't think this will change his mind about the next escape attempt.
---
Thing 2 walks out of their bedroom with a blue plastic steak knife in hand and a maniacal grin on her face.
Thing 2: "Wookit me, I the doctor an I gotta CUT KAIWEY OPEN to see whats wong wiff her!!"
Me: (knowing that Daddy and I both have had surgery and this is a semi-logical conclusion) "Honey, doctors don't always have to cut someone open to find out what's wrong."
Thing 2: "Good ones do! CUT CUT CUT! Kaiweeeeey, come heeeereee!"
Run, Thing 1, Run.
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