Movie Review: Grindhouse -- Planet Terror

Break out the wine and crackers, boys, we got us some cheeeeeeeeese!

I used the charming On Demand feature last night, and finally saw Planet Terror. I have a feeling that in a little while, I'm going to watch it again, because, well, I can. I will own this. And DG will give me The Look and just shake his head sadly.

For those that didn't grow up with the Grindhouse B-movie, this film is probably going to go whooooosh and not be fully appreciated. If you're into Splatter Comedy, you've probably already seen it, and own it.

Every Single B-Movie Cliche is present in this. All of them. Shameless, blatant, and deliberate. The cheese factor is so high that nachos come easy, just add chips. Having a shameless adoration for good cheese in a splatter comedy, I loved this movie, giggling madly through pretty much the entire thing.

This is not a movie that takes itself seriously. The script is appropriately atrocious, the nonsensical close-ups of hair flips and ridiculous glamour in the middle of a zombie fight are SO classic grindhouse, the plot is so thin and has enough holes you can fly a 747 through them, the acting is all completely over the top with the actors chewing so much scenery you wonder how they have a set left to film on, explosions that make utterly no sense whatsoever, and the grainy, warping visual completes the attempt to bring back Camp. There is no shortage of gore (gouting fountains of blood, anyone?), and if you don't recognize the tributes to old splatter, you've been living under a rock or don't like watching this sort of thing anyway. It even has the pre-requisite Creepy Ass Kid.

I want to know just how much fun the actors had in making this movie. It's truly no-holds-barred insanity, from start to finish.

Oh, and I never really thought much of Rose McGowan, but damn, she's hot in this. If you're familiar with other films by Rodriguez, then you'll recognize a whole lot of these faces.

There's even a segment of "Missing Reel", just like you'd expect from a grindhouse feature that's been played so many times, the film is falling apart.

It's hard to imagine that a movie can be this much utterly stupid fun.

Zombies, for Fun and Profit (part 2)

So now that you've gathered your supplies, it's on to the fun stuff: production. This article will focus on prosthetics, both off and on the skin.

The above walking corpse is a combination of both methods -- on and off skin prosthetics. The heavy textured pieces visible on the cheeks is done via the off skin method, the rest, directly on the face.

Let's start with some general prosthetics.

If you did manage to get some liquid latex, great. If not, you don't HAVE to have it, it just makes the process of removing pre-made prosthetics from glass a little easier. Yes, you need a sheet of glass for this part.

Supplies:
Sheet of glass (small) -- must be slick on one side. Don't worry, it'll come clean afterwards. A mirror will work as well. You just need enough surface to pre-make a few sections, depending on how many zombies you need to create.
Liquid latex or Elmer's
Texture additives of choice (oatmeal, birdseed, breadcrumbs, etc). -- you can use your toilet paper or paper towel on this step, but it's much easier to do those directly on skin.
Cornstarch baby powder

-- Slather a thin layer of your goop on the glass. Start out thin, or it'll take forever to dry. The shape is up to you, but remember to keep it to a size that will FIT on your victim. This is your base.
-- Let dry.
-- Powder lightly, dust and blow off.
-- Add another, thinner layer, just to get the surface wet.
-- Carefully add in your texture. A mix of items works well, just remember to keep it thin, otherwise, it won't stick.
-- Lightly pat with fingers to make sure it's stuck, then let dry.
-- Powder again, making sure to get all excess off.
-- Add another layer of goop to seal, spreading as necessary. This gives a good foundation to add makeup on.
-- Let dry. Powder and remove excess.

When ready to use, just peel from the glass -- use a razor blade if you have it to prevent curl-ups on the edges that will make it harder to apply.

The powder is necessary for several reasons. First, these prosthetics will stick to each other without it. Second, the makeup will adhere better when the surface isn't perfectly slick.

You can apply these via spirit gum, but really, you don't need it. Use what you have. The back will still be slick and smooth from the glass, making it easier to apply, and if you use as adhesive the same goop you used to make it, it will stick better. Yes, you can use Elmer's for this, too.

Now, return to look at the top image. See the nose, forehead, and chin? That's all direct to skin. And easy easy easy, to get a nasty peeling skin look. The supply list is impossibly simple: Elmer's. Or your peel off masque, if you have it. Me, I stick with Elmer's, because I always have it.

There's several different ways to handle application. You can stretch skin as tight as possible, then apply -- but then you have to hold that skin taut till it drys. This can be a pain, especially if you have to do more than one zombie. Besides, you can get wrinkles other ways, like using tissue, so don't sweat it.

Direct to skin prosthetic rot.

The above picture is the same general method as the preformed prosthetic skin on glass, only direct to skin. This works well for odd areas, areas that might take longer to dry on glass, and areas bigger than the glass you have to work with. It's also relatively fast if you're working a zombie assembly line, as you can apply to one, and be letting it dry while you work on another.

Basic Peeling Skin: This applies to all exposed skin--face, hands, feet, etc.
-- Apply a smooth, relatively thin layer of Elmer's. You want it not entirely clear, but not thick white either. Do it somewhat at random, especially near muscles, so that the peeling is more natural. You don't need to cover the entire area.
-- Let dry. For thinner peels, stop at this step.
-- Add another layer. Let dry.
-- Yep, one more layer, focusing on the middles of the sections and ignoring the edges. It's necessary for details.
-- Let dry.
-- Gently start to peel at the edges, just to get loose skin flaps. Don't get carried away.
-- Using fingernails (the safest), start to tug and tear in the thicker areas. Create holes, slices -- whatever look you want. You can even fake bullet holes this way, just make sure they aren't on the head -- after all, that kills a zombie, and dead undead aren't any fun!!

Nasty Blisters:
-- Once you've popped a hole in the glue skin, use a little more glue and run it inside the deepest parts of the hole to puff it out. Apply a spare amount, you don't want it to run.
-- Let dry.
-- Repeat, if necessary, to get it puffy.
-- If you want, add a glue spot for a gross pustule in the center. Repeat to get the height you want.
-- If you're going for really gross, now's the time to make pus. Since you'll be dealing with blood, which is already sticky, you can just tint the glue and use it for pus, and while it won't run, it'll be nastily effective.
-- Elmer's is tintable. Use your cream makeup, and mix in some green, as well as some of the yellow from the bruise kit. Mix carefully, and apply with the end of a paintbrush to the blister.

After that, all that remains is the makeup.

More Detailed Effects: You can fake nearly all commercial appliances with this method, for next to nothing in cost, except for things like intestines falling out of the abdomen.
-- Start with the layer of Elmer's again. Have torn pieces of toilet paper or paper towel ready to go: you don't want to try tearing after your hands are slimy. If you're lucky, you can have your victim working on this.
-- Don't let dry this time. Instead, start to apply the tissue to the goop. Scrunch, crinkle at will.
-- If you want to be able to cut sections open for wounds, leave big, deep folds in your tissue, and make sure there's a good amount folded into the space, no matter how small you crunch down the fold.
-- Seal over it with more glue.
-- Let dry.
-- Add another layer of glue. This will give you a good, stiff base to work with, and will help protect the tissue when you get to gore, keeping it from disintigrating on you.
-- Once dry, tear or cut the folds into the shape you want. If you plan your folds carefully, you can do bite marks, claw marks, blade cuts, bullet holes -- imagination is your only limit. Even slashed throats can be done this way.

Again, all that remains is the makeup. God is in the details, and those details will matter with these faked prosthetics. Done right, they'll look far better than commercial appliances. Done wrong, they'll still look more natural than latex sheets.

Here's a place where your theatrical blood is well used. The torn spots will be stiff, and not precisely natural. Once the makeup and blood are applied, however, they'll soften down to realism. And the theatrical blood gels and dries, so it won't disintigrate your hard work.

Next time: On to the makeup!!

Movie Review: Dead and Breakfast

Oh. My. God. SciFi aired Dead and Breakfast the other night. I'd heard about this movie for a while, but never found it on DVD or on any other channel. So no, I've never managed to see this uncut. Yet. I WILL own this movie.

After all, I've got a huge collection of zombie films, both originals and remakes. Clearly, I need to add more.

I damn near hurt myself laughing. This is Zombie Cheese splatter comedy at its finest, along the lines of Army of Darkness meets Peter Jackson's Dead/Alive (BrainDead for the lucky folks over the pond).

Over the top ridiculous gore (gouting fountains of blood, anyone?), a script that never once took itself too seriously, zombies galore, David Carradine, prerequisite characters that do Really Odd Things, like the vegetarian that apparently can speak any and all languages, as well as ASL, and the one who, when the shit hits the fan, starts building her own shotguns because they have shells but nothing to fire them (played by Carradine's niece), the completely nerdy and slightly creepy guy, the mysterious stranger, David Fucking Carradine!, and a country singer/gas station attendant that narrates the movie, both before and after his zombiedom.

The opening credits alone are awesome -- black, white, and red drawings, very comic book style -- and these show up throughout the movie as it shifts from one setting to another. The actors aren't complete unknowns, and some may even be familiar to viewers.

Look for deliberate Cheese Moments: zombies doing the Thriller Dance, an Evil Dead poster, and a Buffy reference.

It ain't Oscar-winning cinema, and it's not for true horror fans, or those that believe all zombie movies should be deadly serious, but it's a damn fun way to spend two hours.

Zombies, for Fun and Profit

"That's too much work!" Oh, please.
"It's too expensive to do it right." Give me a break.

Next in Pooka's Craft Circle: Zombies, for Fun and Profit

It doesn't take a lot of work (just a bit of practice and willing victims -- I mean, subjects), or a lot of money to turn out some quality zombification. Unfortunately, I will have to wait for some of my victims to send on their own photos (and you know how slow the mail is when graveyards are involved), because my own cameraperson was apparently inconvenienced by gravity and oxygen, thus leaving me with a precious few pictures to illustrate my point.

I'll help show you how to do it CHEAP, and still get a quality look that will hold up even if your event is in daylight.

Forget most commercial accessories. You only need a few of these. The "realistic" FX tricks come through items you probably already have around your house. Ready? Let's go ...

Supplies

Cream Makeup: (Greasepaint is complicated, requires powder-setting or it Will Not Dry and smudges everywhere, and is more expensive. Avoid it.)
White
Black
Green
(Optional colours with a bigger budget: brown, yellow, blue. Different types of zombies need different colours, obviously.)

Detail Makeup:
A bruise kit -- These cream makeups can be bought separately, as a kit of four, or as part of a prosthetic kit, which is obviously more expensive. DO choose costume makeup for this, or you won't get the same effect. They also have a different consistency from the cream tubes, so I consider them necessary.

The colours required: yellow, red-brown, brown, black (or deep purple).

An assortment of makeup pencils for deep lines (brown, black, green, purple, you can get these under a buck each).

Blood: If you do buy commercial, make sure to get theatrical blood that will dry as well as mouth blood or blood capsules. They're not interchangeable, and you Do Not Want regular theatrical blood in your mouth or eyes.

Blood, however, is easy enough to make. If you do go for making your own, I'd still recommend picking up a tube of theatrical blood. The homemade stuff is sticky, and while edible, can get really messy over the course of your zombie stomp. There's a huge number of blood recipes on the net, so I won't post any of them here.

http://www.sickindividual.com/tipblood.html Has a pretty good list of multiple methods for homemade blood.

Home Supplies: Many of these are optional according to how decayed your zombie is and the look you're going for.

For Texture:
Rotting Skin:

Oatmeal -- two piles, whole and well-crumbled but not powdered.
Breadcrumbs -- Different types create different effects. If using oatmeal as well, try Panko breadcrumbs for a finer texture.
Birdseed -- also great for road rash, without the weight of rock. If you have a mixed wild seed bag, it's perfect. Just take out the sunflower seeds (you can use them elsewhere).

Tears, rips, and further texture:

Toilet paper -- only use the cheap stuff you don't want anywhere near your butt. 2-ply ultrasoft is a pain to use. If it's all you have, opt for ...
Paper towels -- Type and quality doesn't matter.
Cotton balls -- just pull and tear till you get closer to a sheet of fluff. Also good for bloody hair sliding free of skin.

Peeling, shedding skin: A lot of people have latex allergies these days -- my method avoids that.
A Peel-Off Face Masque -- is great for rotten, peeling skin. If you don't already have it, don't worry about buying it, unless one of your victims has sensitive skin.
Elmer's School Glue -- yes, good old Elmer's. Come on, you remember doing this back in school. You spread the stuff on your skin, wait for it to dry, peel it off. Here, it serves multiple purposes. Not only do you get the peeling flesh, but you can build up several layers, then tear it open in select spots to create gaping congealed holes and open blisters, plus, it serves to attach your texture items to the skin.

***Yes, it's skin safe. You wouldn't be wearing it long enough for it to be a problem, IF it was a problem. I have ridiculously sensitive skin, and I sat all day yesterday while doing makeup for a Halloween event with my hand gored up, using Elmer's as the base for the makeup, and was just fine.
*** Yes, cream makeup goes on just fine over it --yes, I said OVER, clear zombie skin is not convincing -- and mostly stays put unless you start rubbing it off deliberately. Once the cream sets, you're fine, AND the colour will then come off with the glue, making cleanup easier.

Application: Not required unless they have a *, but useful if you already have them.
Sea sponge for makeup -- good for mottling without a lot of effort and time.
* Cosmetic sponges -- you don't want to use fingers. Not only is it messy, it won't apply well and will be streaky.
Wide-holed textured makeup sponge -- these are usually a sort of mesh, but you can fake one if you look around the house. Awesome for mildew spots on your zombie. Personally, I'd consider this a requirement, but that's just me.
Saran Wrap -- bunched up, this can take the place of other sponges when used to apply makeup, or to further texture the glue skin.
* Q-Tips, small makeup applicators, detail brushes (soft paintbrushes work) -- necessary around eyes, and for facial creases unless you're really good at small detail with a big sponge.
* Powder puff or big makeup brush -- needed to apply powder.
* Cornstarch baby powder -- I prefer cornstarch over regular. Will help set makeup, especially in heat, will further pale up skin, and can help give your zombie a dusty look.

The Costume:
For a zombie, the costume is already in your closet. Everyone has a few items that they don't care about getting destroyed. Here's the time to make good use of them.
Always remember to tear, not cut. Cuts are too clean, you want to look like you've been in a fight for your life, and lost. Seams are a good place to make your outfit look worn and ragged. Scrape, slice (to start a hole) and tear, use sandpaper -- just make it worn. DO NOT get carried away with this. A little goes a long way, and too much looks silly. Make it believable damage.
Also, when doing your cutting and tearing, DO IT WHILE THE COSTUME IS ON. Otherwise, you may end up with holes in places that are awkward and may break local decency laws or dress codes. Not that a zombie would worry about that, but you know.
Important: Keep in mind that any visible skin will need makeup as well. This includes hands, the neck, and anything else clothing isn't covering. Plan accordingly for the amount of time you want to spend doing the makeup.
Lose a shoe, if you can stand being partially barefoot. A zombie isn't going to stop and put a shoe back on if it comes off, and it looks good. Don't forget to tear holes in your sock if you do (and if you're wearing them). Toes don't really need makeup, they just need dirt, and lots of it.

The last thing needed is simple: Dirt. Yes, dirt. Make sure it's clean, free of any animal debris (ew), but doesn't have to be free of assorted sticks, grass, and other plant life. This also adds texture and realism, especially if your zombie just crawled from its grave.

-- Grind some dirt into clothes, getting it as filthy as possible.
-- Mix mud. This covers a multitude of cheap sins, including too new clothing, means you don't need a wig (Yes, rub the mud in your hair -- it washes out easily, saving you from trying to colour it), and skin areas you didn't have time to do makeup on. Plus, it crumbles nicely, and creates more texture.

Mixing mud: Go for wet. Really wet. Standing water should be in your bucket. Then you can dig the mud out, and it's easier to apply.
Mud dries lighter, however, and you may want your zombie to stay looking, well ... moist. Mix your mud, then, with your liquid half and half between water and corn syrup or vegetable oil. A corn syrup mixture will be stickier, of course, while vegetable oil will have a slimier texture.

Notice what is missing from the supply list. There's no liquid latex, no spirit gum, no appliances or prosthetics. You don't need em. If you've got the budget, buy some liquid latex anyway -- if you have time to go with your budget, you can make your own custom appliances on a sheet of glass to cut down the time actually putting the zombification into action, using the texture goodies mentioned above in the list. But you don't NEED it.

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The above zombies were created using only the supplies I've mentioned in the list. That's it. No commercial prosthetics. Granted, their makeup jobs looked much better before they went a little crazy with the mud (note: never let your creations do their own mud job).

You can see some of the peeling and rotten skin in this picture without a closeup, but trust me, it was Seriously effective in person.

NEXT TIME: How put those supplies into action.

Happy hauntings.

Glad I kept my supplies for 20 years ...

So, on short notice, having NOT been reminded by a very naughty Thing 1, I have to spend the rest of tonight practicing to channel my inner Tom Savini.

Yep. Tomorrow I get hauled out to a haunted hayride set to do the makeup for the "Thriller" zombie squad.

If all the goobers involved had reminded me earlier, I could have given them an appropriate shopping list. Now, I'm going to be scavenging in the kitchen for oats and breadcrumbs and trying to get rice cooked for some maggots to go in fleshy wounds. I really hope I have a few bottles of Elmers around, because apparently they forgot to get one of the absolutely important special effects basics -- liquid latex. Nor do they have more than a few measly prosthetics. Kids -- eesh.

Now I gotta get creative.

Man, it's been AGES since I've had to do anything like this.

At least since part of their routine is the Thriller dance, I only have to do SERIOUS makeup jobs on those in the front. Problem is, the distance from the crowd will only be 2-3 feet at some points, so it's got to be very well done for those kids.

Mercifully, I fully believe in one of Savini's classic theories: You can never have too much blood.

Movie Review: Resident Evil: Extinction

It did not suck.

Better review when I'm more coherent, hopefully, but it did not suck. If you're a zombie dork enough like me to have enjoyed the first one, you'll like the third.

And Milla's my new hero, right up there with Angelina, both of whom regularly do 90% or more of their own stunts (IE, the stunts that legal and insurance will allow them to do).

HOWEVER ... The CGI crew should be taken out and SHOT, repeatedly, starting from the toes up, for one horrendously overdone effect that you are smacked in the face with time and time again.

Every single close-up of Alice is Photoshop Airbrush in action. After only the second close-up, I was already sick to death of the smudge brush. It's that overdone