Veni, Vidi, Ventus --
The randomly chaotic and crafty scribblings of a deranged, wannabe artist allowed too many colours in her Crayon box.

Surgeon General's Warning: Some content of "From Pooka's Crayon" may not be suitable for: work, blue-haired little old ladies, the politically-correct, rabid moonbats, uptight mothers, priests, chronic idiots, insurance claims agents, Democrats, children, small furry quadropeds from Alpha Centauri, or your sanity.

Sunday, October 08, 2000

Day in the Life, or, Things my family has learned

-- that Mommy can not only do a perfect Beavis voice, but she does a damn good Bart Simpson, too.

-- cats do not like being dressed up in clothing.

-- gravity works.

-- neato seasonal tights are not appropriate wear for tile floors.

-- sticking a key in an electrical outlet is a Bad Idea.

-- rain can be cold.

-- if you unwind a cassette tape, it probably won't work anymore.

-- toilet paper will not hold up a Barbie in the bathtub.

-- Mommy doesn't care about fair, Mommy just wants to stop the screaming.

-- if you aren't bleeding, you do NOT need a Band-Aid.

-- powdered sugar sticks to EVERYTHING, including Mommy.

-- cannonballs in the bathtub make a really big pool on the floor.

-- permanent marker does not come off furniture.

-- washable markers aren't.

-- crayons melt in the dryer.

-- leaving Legos on the floor in the dark is the quickest way to send Daddy to the ER for stitches.

-- they will not die if they don't get what they want.

-- hand soap makes lousy toothpaste.

-- if you ignore something long enough, there is NOT a magical fairy that will come and clean your mess up for you.

-- just because Mommy is sick and can't talk does not make Mommy stupid, deaf, or blind.

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