Veni, Vidi, Ventus --
The randomly chaotic and crafty scribblings of a deranged, wannabe artist allowed too many colours in her Crayon box.

Surgeon General's Warning: Some content of "From Pooka's Crayon" may not be suitable for: work, blue-haired little old ladies, the politically-correct, rabid moonbats, uptight mothers, priests, chronic idiots, insurance claims agents, Democrats, children, small furry quadropeds from Alpha Centauri, or your sanity.

Thursday, September 08, 2005

Insomnia Zombie

It was past 7 am this morning when I finally fell asleep. That was WITH medication assistance. I won't admit to how much I had to take to finally pass out, however, for the paranoid, I know well my own medication limits (and how my body does or doesn't to it, with my effed up brain chemistry), but it hasn't taken that much in a long time.

Out of that, I got less than 7 hours sleep. Probably closer to 6.

Haven't had a cycle quite this bad in a long time. Sure, I go through the phases, but with chronic insomnia, it tends to sneak up on you, and you don't realize just how bad it is until you have nights like last night, or the 48 hour days. I've gone more than 72 hours solid without a single hour of sleep before. And I ACHE from the lack of real sleep. Both brain and body hurt, and I feel like I'm in a fog.

On Insomnia.

There's multiple ways in which insomnia affects people. There's the "can't go to sleep" folks (sleep onset insomnia) that can lay in bed for hours without passing out. I'm one of those. There's the "early wakers" (sleep maintenance insomnia) who go to bed with no problem, then will suddenly snap wide awake well before they've gotten enough sleep. Occasionally I have this problem as well, but I'm lucky enough that if I don't move, usually I can drift back off.

But then there's a third problem, and it's very common to those with fibromyalgia, RSD, and other chronic pain disorders, as well as those suffering from depression. REM disturbance (REM rebound, excessive dreaming, where the body leaps right into REM instead of going through the stages). Or rather, in my case, Too Damn Much REM sleep.

I am a Stage 5 sleeper. I go from Stage 1, which instead lasts at least an hour or longer when I finally start to drift, to Stage 5. Stage 3/4 damn near doesn't exist.

Active sleep. I wake up TIRED, because my brain is active all night.

And I've been doing this for 25 years. Are we having fun yet?

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