Veni, Vidi, Ventus --
The randomly chaotic and crafty scribblings of a deranged, wannabe artist allowed too many colours in her Crayon box.

Surgeon General's Warning: Some content of "From Pooka's Crayon" may not be suitable for: work, blue-haired little old ladies, the politically-correct, rabid moonbats, uptight mothers, priests, chronic idiots, insurance claims agents, Democrats, children, small furry quadropeds from Alpha Centauri, or your sanity.

Saturday, February 02, 2002

Cluex4, sold here, for only 19.95

There are people in the world who Do Not Get It.

Some of these people never will Get It. Ever.

Some have to be hit with a very heavy Cluex4 to Get it. Even then, they may have trouble with Getting It.

There are those who just haven't heard it put the right way, and so do not Get It but have a good chance of both Getting and Retaining It.

For those, here is a short, quick and dirty primer.

1. The world does not revolve around you.

2. No matter how hard you try, the world will never revolve around you. You're a person, not a red giant.

3. Attempting to force others to treat you as though the world revolved around you will only leave you lonely, bitter, and living with many many cats that will feast on your flesh when you die lonely, bitter, and forgotten.

4. Attempting to force others to treat you as though the world revolved around you will seriously Piss People Off.

5. Nobody likes a busybody. Really. Remember Mrs Kravitz? If you're too young to remember, we're too old to give a fuck. Walk away, m'kay?

6. The world does not revolve around you.

7. Approximately 99.9999999% of the world couldn't possibly care any less about your saga. No matter how you dress it and apply makeup, save the drama for your mama because everyone else is basically already bored shitless with hearing you do the same song and dance every fucking single day.

7b. You can only do the same thing so many times and still have someone believe it. People do talk. People do remember. It's called a Reputation. I know that's a big word. It means something important.

7c. Two or three different faces in public just makes you look stupid. Saying one thing on one front, then something entirely different on another, and saving a completely different face for another -- while keeping all public -- not only makes you look stupid, but everyone will eventually catch on that you're just about as sharp as a sack of wet mice because you can't keep your story straight.

7d. Lies don't get better with more embellishment. You will get caught.

8. "No," really means "No." It does not mean Yes. It does not mean Maybe. It does not mean "please whine at me till I change my mind." It does not mean "please stalk me and follow me everywhere and give me no rest at all until I finally tell you yes out of sheer fear for my life, or change my name, face, and phone number to avoid you."

No means No. No. N-O. Look it up sometime.

9. The world does not revolve around you.

10. The world does not revolve around you. I cannot stress this point enough.
Say it with me. "The world does not revolve around me."

Knew you could do it.

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